A friend of mine was robbed today by two young women who asked to borrow her phone.
NO: never ever let strangers on the street borrow your cell phone. That's just common sense. If they're really in dire straits, you can give them fifty cents for a pay phone, or they can pay a store clerk to use the phone. Normal people don't ask strangers for their cell phones. The one time I was caught without a cell phone I went into a store and begged to use theirs. I didn't approach strangers on the street. If you must be a saint, insist on walking into a store and standing in front of the cashier or security guard while the stranger uses your phone.
What I really think (as in, people are not usually in as dire straits as they'd like you to think): she should never have stopped in the first place. No fumbling for the phone, no standing around on the street, nothing. People usually approach you as you're walking. Don't stop walking. Keep talking and walking, and in a situation where you're outsized or outnumbered keep your eyes straight and walk into the nearest store you come across. Just try to get where there are people. On with the story...
While one of the girls was using the phone (pretending, methinks), the other girl chatted my friend up and asked to see her ipod. My friend handed it over.
NO: never ever let strangers on the street borrow your ipod. They can go see one at the Mac store.
The girl took the ipod and ran. My friend kicked off her heels and chased after her, dropping her briefcase in the process.
NO: Now let's get one thing straight--my friend can run. There's no doubt in my mind that it took her no time at all to catch up to her overweight ipod thief. And in a movie, this would have been a really sweet scene. But in real life, you don't drop your wallet and briefcase to go chasing after an ipod, and you don't go chasing after someone who might have a weapon.
Lucky for her, after some cussing and a few punches the woman threw the ipod back at her and ran off. The cell phone, in the meantime, had disappeared with the other woman. My friend escaped with a lost phone, scraped knee, and major jitters. I say she got off easy.
Let's review a few Walking While Female pointers (not that they're not good rules for men too):
- Wear walking shoes. I don't care if your New Balance don't match your Armani suit. Your feet, your shins, your knees, and your spine will thank you and you won't have to kick off your shoes if you need to run. You are not Jennifer Garner. You cannot sprint in Manolos, and you are not a crime fighting machine.
- Stay alert. It's easy to start daydreaming when you're walking, but in a city you really should be scanning the street like you do when you're driving. If you see any people who make you uncomfortable, step aside or cross the street. Better safe than sorry, and do feel free to utilize completely illogical criminal profiling techniques. It's all in your head, no one's going to call you sexist or racist or ageist or classist. Your gut knows best.
- Keep your bags close to you, preferably with one hand on a strap and/or a shoulder strap across your chest. No, it won't really prevent a strong person from grabbing your bag, but if someone's deciding between you and an unsecure bag he/she will pass you by.
- Don't be ostentatious. A young woman in a suit and high heels, laden by work bags, listening to her ipod and talking on the phone is a pretty obvious target.
- Keep your hand on some pepper spray. When I'm walking alone at night, I really do keep one hand in my pocket on an open can of pepper spray. I know all the things people say about pepper spray being ineffective, but I'm hoping someone who approaches me will be somewhat deterred by it.
- When in doubt, go pretend shopping. I've only done this once or twice, but if I feel like someone's trailing me I walk into a store. This, of course, means I also choose to walk on well lit streets where there are at least some liquor stores open at all time. The one time I can remember was when some guy catcalled me and then walked behind me for a block. Maybe he really was just walking in the same direction, but maybe he had something else in mind. Either way, I walked into a liquor store, pretended to look at some food, and when I saw him far down the street I kept walking. Sometimes when someone's been behind me for awhile I'll slow down and let him pass just for the assurance that he's not trailing me or try to figure out how to pick my pocket. I also surreptitiously check reflections in store windows to see if the person clacking along behind me looks suspicious. Betcha didn't know I was so sneaky.
- Safety in numbers. Obviously, don't walk alone if you don't have to, especially at night. Walk on the light side of the street, and catch up to crowds if you can. For example, I was once waiting for a train alone at night. At one end of the platform were a lot of empty seats near a dirty man with shifty eyes. On the other end was a bunch of college kids being loud and goofy. Guess who I stood near.
- Like your mama said, don't talk to strangers. People know better than to approach a lone woman. A stranger who needs something will almost always ask a man, because strangers know that women often feel threatened when approached on the street. So if you're a woman, you're alone, and you're approached, be aware.
- Just say NO. People have this strange reluctance to say no to strangers that baffles me. "Do you have a cell phone?" "No." "Spare change?" "No." It's not hard. It's not a long word. So you lie. Who cares? It's your cell phone, it's your spare change; if the person gives you the heebie jeebies, keep walking. You don't need to sneer as you say it, just say it firmly.
Anything else? I promise, I use all these rules all the time and I in no way appear to be a paranoid wreck when I'm walking down the street. They're easy things to do, and it's just about being aware of where you are and how you appear to other people. I'm already a short Asian woman. I don't need to look scared and confused too. I'd rather be a little terse than be taken advantage of, and I'd rather be too careful than not careful enough.
6 comments:
I can think of one, and it's one people have been ignoring in droves: NO HEADPHONES. This is just smart for men and women. Keep aware of what's going on around you. People who pick pockets for a living can easily sidle up to you in a crowd and grab your wallet. Listening to music just makes you more oblivious. No excuses. The only time I will consider wearing headphones in an open public place is the running track by my house, and only then if there are plenty of people around.
And by the way, most of your rules go for men, too. My male co-worker got robbed at gunpoint not too long ago shortly after leaving an event at the British Embassy. If you live in a city, no matter what sex you are or what your age, you should be vigilant at all times. Period!
I thought of another, which my sister uses all the time: talk on the phone. As in, if she's walking to her car at night, she always calls someone so that if she's approached she can scream out where she is and the other person can call the police. The trick, of course, is to talk and still pay attention.
Plus, my sister just likes to talk a lot.
Yep, that's a good one too. Maybe it works best if you don't actually have a conversation, but just have that open line to the other person.
And if anyone thinks this is paranoia, he or she is stupid. You're less paranoid when you're taking active steps to maintain control. Witness my mom, who will fret endlessly over me walking home after dark, even if it's dark at 5:30, but who won't sign up for a self-defense class. I may be constantly eyeballing everyone I pass and whatnot, but she's the one who's the most anxious.
The more I think about it, the more I think you need to add a YES: Take a good self-defense class. It's all well and good to just hand over your wallet, but if the person then wants to drag you off somewhere, or tie you up, that's when your cooperation ends.
YES!
Walking around with a perpetual "f-off" look on your face works wonders too. There is no such thing as a random robbery/assault! People choose targets that look less likely to cause them trouble.
Post a Comment