**CAUTION**CAUTION**CAUTION**CAUTION**CAUTION**
DO NOT PROCEED ON AN EMPTY STOMACH
If you're in a hurry, come back when you have time to have a snack and read this post. Why? Because this just might be the marathon be all and end all of posts.
After dreaming about it for two years, we finally dined at The Ritz tonight. It was, in short, a breathtakingly amazing experience and hands down the best non-Asian meal I've had in my life.
Edit: I've thought about it and talked to a few friends about it, so I think I can synthesize the experience a bit. Our bill was $360 for two dinners, one flight of wine, and a 25% tip on the food. Breathtakingly pricey? Certainly. Was it worth it? To me, it was. I'm not divulging the pricetag to show off or shock anyone, but to accurately prepare you should you choose to go. It's also useful for comparison purposes. People pay over $100 to see mediocre singers in concert. Tickets to the Metropolitan Opera start around $200. As a lover of food, I would regret living in the same city as Ron Siegel and never trying his cooking. It's certainly not a neglible amount, but I'd eagerly give up plane tickets to Hawaii for another dinner at The Dining Room.
To someone who doesn't really know or care about food, this meal might seem like the biggest rip off ever conceived. To me, it was an evening long experience that I'll cherish, and which to me is much more memorable than any trip to the theater has ever been. Every bite, every smell, every plate that came to my table or floated by on its way to someone else, every lengthy description, and every bite was something to be savored. I think anyone with curiosity about food and a basic knowledge of cooking would be awed and impressed by a meal like this. It's not about dressing up and feeling fancy for a night--there are any number of less expensive restaurants where one could go for a better "see and be seen" experience. The Ritz's focus is on doing everything it can to make the customer live, breath, and understand The Perfect Dining Experience as Ron Siegel envisions it. It's about the wonder inspired by seeing what a chef can do when he's given every culinary resource available to man.
Saying it's like magic is cliche but accurate. It's truly something to behold, and people are 100% right when they say it's worth saving up for even if it means putting spare change in a jar for two years to save up enough pennies.
The menu included a la carte options (your choice of three courses), a tasting menu featuring salts and peppers from around the world, and a vegetarian menu. Instead of those options, we both chose the chef's nine course tasting menu, meaning we left our stomaches in the capabable hands of executive chef Ron Siegel (the first American to ever beat an Iron Chef, aka "I-Ron Chef Siegel, remember?).
At The Dining Room, when two people order the tasting menu, the chef whips out two completely different meals. Meaning, essentially, that you end up eating at least eighteen different dishes. In addition to these eighteen dishes, you also get amuse bouches, compliments of the kitchen. We got well over twenty dishes--and that's not even counting the dessert tray. But, I digress. We also got one wine pairing for our nine courses, and shared it because we knew nine wines would be more than enough to do both of us in.
After we sat down, the waiter wheeled around the champagne cart. It's basically a mountain of ice with four bottles sticking up from it, and glasses hanging below. We declined, knowing we'd have more than enough to drink later (and not knowing how much a glass would further bankrupt us). They then brought over a basket of four breads. We declined the epi loaves, I got a chapeau, and JS got the black olive loaf. The olive loaf was the clear winner, although my little chapeau was cute. Imagine a crusty Cuban style bread with a disk of dark crunchy pumpernickel perched on top of it. That's the chapeau (hat)!
Now, to the real food! They started us both with three of the same amuses:
Asparagus Soup with Sugar Cap Mushrooms: first off, let me apologize for missing a few photos in this post. I was in a dim room surrounded by well-dressed people enjoying very expensive meals. I didn't want to be the oaf with the camera. Still, as the evening wore on, I got more comfortable in my skin. Our waiter was so charming and put us at such ease that I didn't feel so stiff and formal towards the end. The result: better photos! So there's no photo of the asparagus soup, but it was an intensely flavored, bright green, creamy cold soup served in a tiny teacup. The perfect thing to get your appetite going. We each got a cup of this and savored it as a sign of great things to come.
Sashimi: yes, Ron Siegal loves Japanese food and brings a lot of Asian touches to his French cooking. I actually love this about him, because it means the food's not as heavy as it would be at a traditional French restaurant. This piece of fish was wonderful in every way, and again we each got one: served at just the right temperature, it was a mouthful of tender sashimi (suzuki?), a bright red piece of watermelon radish, and a few slivers of what appeared to be regular radish. I'm pretty sure the watermelon radish was pickled in something fishy because it had a distinctly oceany flavor to me.
Uni Panna Cotta: bizarre name, right? This was the first time I'd ever had uni whipped into a mousse. It was entrancing: the texture of dessert with the pure clean taste of a great piece of uni. The taste of uni was mellowed out with cream, as well as by the chopped pieces of prawn and dribble of vanilla oil that was added tableside. I once read a description Chowhound that said eating uni tastes like kissing a mermaid; eating this was like getting a full body massage from the Sea Princess herself. This was the last amuse, and also the last identical dish we got. From here on out, we were each served different takes on a similar main ingredient.
After the uni came our first pour of wine: Engelgarten, Bergheim, Domaine Marcel Deiss, Alsace, 1999. This signalled the beginning of the nine course meal. As it turns out, each of our nine courses complemented each other and the wine, but were sometimes very different takes on the same main ingredient. You'll see what I mean. The first wine was somewhere between a riesling and a pinot gris, with a definite lean towards the latter. It was a little too dry for me, and lacked the floral nose that I enjoy in white wine.

Cold Artichoke Puree With Golden Osetra Caviar: the appearance of the osetra made the entire meal worth it for JS. Being a seafood fanatic, he was pleased as pie to finally be able to say he's tasted some top grade caviar. The mandatory half-way-through-the-dish trade confirmed this to me too, as if his constant oohing and grinning weren't proof enough.

Hot Artichoke Puree Soup: my bowl came empty except for a bundle of raw scallop slivers, herbs, and mushrooms at the bottom. After the first waiter set it down a second waiter glided up to the table with a clear glass teapot full of the soup, explained the dish to me, and poured the piping hot soup over the raw scallops. By the time I dug my spoon in, the hot liquid had cooked the scallops to perfection. Meaning, of course, just barely.
Second course wine: Gruner Veltliner, Rotes Tor, Hirtzberger, Wachau, Austria, 2003. This was possibly my favorite wine of the evening. Very fragrant, just sweet enough, and enjoyable all by itself.
Spot Prawn With Lemon Verbena Gelee and Shiso Sauce: okay, this is a blurry photo, but I had to post it. Why? Because of that little green blob above the shrimp. That, my friends, was our first taste of fresh wasabi. After setting down our plates, a waiter came by with what looked like a paddle, a small bamboo brush, and a whole wasabi root that had been peeled on one end. He commenced grating a teaspoon of it using the paddle-shaped grater, then brushed it into a mound with the brush. Fresh wasabi is very interesting. It's got a spicy kick, but the impressive part is its aroma and aftertaste. There's a nuttiness to it that's not present in powdered or tubed wasabi. The prawn was your basic ama ebi, but paired with the lemony, grassy gelee, topped with the wasabi, and dipped in the sauce it was the perfect match for the glass of wine that came with this course. I already loved the wine, but it tasted even sweeter and more fragrant with a bite of shrimp in my mouth. Incredible. I think matches like this are the reason people eat at high end restaurants. There's no way a layperson can have the time and palate needed to figure out what exact preparation of a food is going to bring out the best in one particular bottle of wine. This goes way beyond the "fish and white wine, beef and red wine" rule.

Deep Fried Prawns Head With Two Sauces: our waiter, Laurent, mixed the sauces tableside for us. Honestly, eating here is like having dinner and a show. Not only was he a great server, he graciously chatted with us about wine and food, answering all our questions with knowledge and charm without any sense of pretense when we asked him questions he couldn't answer. One sauce was shiso salt, and the other was powdered sea salt. Both were mixed with fresh lemon juice. The sea salt was nice, but not exceptional. The shiso salt was fragrant, grassy, and an amazing accompaniment to the prawn. The sauces were intended for the raw prawn, but I ended up dipping the head in it too.

Blue Fin Tuna: Two perfect pieces of fish, topped with a slice of radish and raw fish chunks. Tasty, but not as amazing as the prawn.
Wine with the following fish course was from Peay Vinyards, Roussanne/Marsanne, Sonoma Coast, 2003. Our waiter said it was one of his favorites, but I liked the previous wine so much I couldn't concentrate on it.

Sea Bream With Coconut Sauce: a taste of Thailand came with this one, to be sure. It didn't really mesh with the rest of the menu, but I enjoyed it anyway. The fish skin was cooked to a crisp and the inside was hot and juicy. This is a pretty firm fish, and the hot creamy sauce was well seasoned though not spicy. The gimmick with this dish, however, was the mystery under the perforated plate. When he poured the sauce onto my fish, the waiter explained that I would have something special when I finished the fish:

Spot Prawn Ravioli, Leeks, and Artichoke Heart: surprise! As soon as I was done with my fish, a waiter came by and took away the plate. Below was the second part of my course, which of course had been sauced by the dribbles from the fish above it. This dish was unremarkable, though of course the prawn inside the ravioli was delicious.
Turbot With Black Truffle Mushrooms: another new food for us was black truffles. This was shaved generously on a piece of turbot. White truffles have a much more intense fragrance than black truffles. So, while this was a wonderful new thing to try, we both like the white version more. The turbot was served on baby carrots and asparagus, along with a smear of port sauce and truffle oil.
We were getting into the swing of it now. Basically, as soon as we finished our wine after one course, a new glass was brought over, wine was introduced and poured, and the next course was served as soon as we'd had time to take a sip or two of the wine by itself. Our next wine was Macon-Villages, Domaine de la Bongran, Jean Thevenet, Burgundy, 2001. A white burgundy with shellfish. I have to say, as someone who's not a huge fan of white wines, I got to try a stunning variety of great whites with this meal. Most, if not all, had beautiful smells. Onward...
Lobster Claw in Oxtail Sauce: surf and turf overdone, I say. I'm no fan of lobster claws, so I could have done without this dish. The sauce was great, but I'm sure it could have been more useful in another dish.
Lobster Tail and Golden Osetra: now we're talking! Buttery, firm, crunchy lobster tail with a dollop of caviar. So very, very nice.
The next course was our first non-seafood dish: foie gras. It was served with a sweet riesling: Riesling, Auslese, Dorscheimer Pittermannchen, Nahe, Germany, 1998. I never realized just how much foie gras needs to be paired with a sweet wine. This was not a wine that I could ever finish a whole glass of by itself, but it was just the thing to pierce through the fatty foie gras.

Seared Foie Gras: served on a piece of toast with dried huckleberries. Everything seared foie gras should be. I was most struck by the thickness of this slab of foie gras. Even though the piece was small in diameter, the fatness of it really gave the dish some extra oomph.
Foie Gras Torchon: a classic preparation with a piece of toast, quince jelly, champagne jelly, and baby bean sprouts. Well executed, and one of the few "Aha! Familiar!" dishes in the meal. Do we like JS's tie? He's giving colors a chance.That's right, real colors!
With the poultry course came our first red wine. Surprising, right? Chatteauneuf-du-Pape, Domaine la Milliere, Rhone, 1998. See what I mean? It's not always red wine with red meat, and the kitchen knows that. This wine was 95% grenache, 5% syrah. Not something we usually like, because it's a very peppery, thin wine. Still, I can see why they paired it with the birds. It's not a wine that would hold up well at all to red meat, but was good with these particular dishes which were cooked in red sauces.
Squab: crunchy baked skin, soupy sauce, lots of veggies. I'll confess that this point I was getting too full to fully analyze everything set before me. Suffice it to say that it was good, and I wanted to finish every bite despite my growing discomfort.
Chicken: fine, but nothing to dwell on. The dish was beautiful, but the chicken breast was cooked just short of being dry. I hesitate to say I could make this at home, because how could I make something look so pretty? But no, it's not something I would order at this restaurant again. The chicken Jo and I had at Campton Place was more impressive. I did enjoy the sauce, since I'm a nut for sauce. And the dish came atop what appeared to be a miniature whole head of celery. That was pretty amusing.
This photo demonstrates what people mean when they say The Dining Room is over the top. I asked for a cup of hot water to cleanse my palate, and this is what arrived: a silver teapot of hot water, two wrapped lemon halves, a mini jar of Ritz Carlton white clover honey, a warmed teacup and saucer, a silver tin of raw and white sugar lumps, and a silver tin of Equal and Nutrisweet. It was the best water service I've ever seen, anywhere. I highly recommend ordering the water at the Ritz. Still, at this point in the meal we were having a fantastic time with our waiter and the experience in general. People say The Dining Room is stuffy, but that wasn't our impression at all. It's definitely formal and oppulent, but the staff is trained to make you feel right at home. I've dined at any number of mid-priced restaurants where the waiters are overly polite and stiff. They're like robots who come, give you food, follow your orders, and take your food away at the end. Our waiter joked with us, smiled, bantered, and acted like a normal human being. He even offered (jokingly) to bring us blankets and extra pillows if we got sleepy. Fantastic idea. But there was no time for a nap, because the next wine poured was...
The wine of the evening: Lancaster Estate, Cabernet Sauvignon, Alexander Valley, 2002. So after going on a European wine tour throughout the rest of the meal, we realized that we simply are nuts for a big California red. In our defense, the reds were the only 60+ bottles of wines we were served tonight. One was going for as low as $15 on Froogle, and the bulk of the wines were right around $30. The cabernet came with the meat course.

Lamb With Red Wine Sauce: I love lamb. Tender, seared, red lamb. I don't know what to say. It was delicious. I can't go into more detail than that. And look at that perfectly circular puddle of sauce. Even the plates were fun to look at during this meal.

Beef and Black Truffles: inevitably, each course had one dish that I preferred over the other. For this course it was the beef. Not only did the shredded truffles pair well with the hearty beef and red sauce, beef went better with the wine than lamb did. The asparagus and risotto under the beef were nice, but nothing outshined the meat in this dish.

The meat course was the last savory course on the menu. By this time, we had been thoroughly defeated by the kitchen. I was so full I was ready to be carted home in a wheelbarrow. Thank goodness for this little refreshing morsel. This was tangerine sorbet with a little berry jelly. Mine was a blood orange and beet sorbet with regular orange bits. It was just two tiny spoonfuls of sorbet to get us ready for the real dessert.
But first, the wine! Moscato d'Asti, Forteto della Luja, Piedmont, Italy, 2004. A standard, slightly fizzy, very sweet dessert wine.
Passion Fruit Tower: this was a layer of cake, fruit jelly, passion fruit mousse, passion fruit sorbet, and a baked meringue. Very tart, perfect for waking up the mouth after a looong meal. Sidenote: the restaurant has over a half dozen different plates that they cycle through, but this one was my favorite. It's a smooth shiny center, and the outside is a textured rim of unpolished china. It's really simple and beautiful. Notice how big the plate is compared to JS's body. The food portions look small, but they're also sitting on 16" chargers.
Hazelnut Coffee: my dessert was a crispy hazelnut cake/cookie on a bed of whipped cream, topped with coffee ice cream. It wasn't as rich as it sounds, which was good. I liked the coffee ice cream because it had powdered coffee beans in it, but I never love hazelnut.
You think I'm done, don't you? You're wrong. There was more. The following was the coup de grace of The Dining Room, designed to make you laugh, cry, and hold your stomach in the beautiful pain that is eating the best meal of your life but being too full to continue enjoying the last course. Just when I thought it was time to waddle home, our waiter Laurent came by with a rolling cart overflowing with sweets. I should have photographed the cart. It's a two-tier serving cart. He took a beautiful tray from the bottom tier and began filling it with one treat from each bowl/plate on the cart. I thought I was going to be asked to choose a few treats that struck my fancy (like dim sum), but I got one of each! He described each as he picked it up with pretty little tongs. I later saw him pushing a cheese cart with the most interesting assortment of over a dozen different colored cheeses, but I think cheese is (wisely) only an option if you've eaten the three course selection--not the 9 course tasting menu.
I tried. I really tried. But in the end, Laurent put most of this in a little box for me to enjoy as a midnight snack. As he said "Later, when no one's looking!"

I won't even pretend to remember all the things on this plate. There were two lollipops, an almond nougat, pistachio nougat, pistachio cake, meringue, coconut macaroon, coffee marshmallow, a French financier cake, truffle, lemon jelly, chocolate layered mousse cake, lemon mousse tart, and more. The two most unique things were a berry with dried leaves (top right) that had been coated in crispy sugar. The berry popped as I bit into it and all the sweet juices burst out. The other thing I'd never seen before is a French cake that's traditionally dipped in beeswax (bottom right). It is dipped in sugar here, but has a mesmerizingly deep burnt caramel flavor and soft moist interior. I'd seek out a purveyor or recipe for this cake before for anything else on this tray. Much thanks to pastry chef Alexander Espiritu for all these treats.
Still not done. After the check, we were presented with two little boxes of candies. They're salty, soft, burnt caramel candies, one of my favorite kinds of candy. Just a little something to remind us the next day that we really had dined at one of America's finest restaurants.
In short, the meal was everything I had expected and more. It's not nearly as stuffy and uncomfortable as some people make it out to be. The food is every bit as good, and in many ways superior to, anything I could have imagined. The staff is gracious, unobtrusive, and accomodating. As this post proves, I was not made to feel uncomfortable even though I had a camera. Fortuitously, the table next to me turned around and said they usually have a camera too but had forgotten it that night. So, instead of being annoyed, they were envious and even offered to take a photo of me and JS at the end of our meal. Good food, good service, and some unexpectedly good company. Followed by a slow stroll home in the chillingly refreshing night air, it was truly a night to remember.
The Ritz Carlton San Francisco Website
Photos from a far superior photographer