Bridezilla Rant #1

Regarding walking down the aisle...

I have four bold-faced, blood-red, extra large words for you:
I'm not doing it.

Yes, I know I'm being ornery. Yes, I know people will be disappointed. Yes, I know it's weird. But I'm not asking permission, I'm just clarifying my intent so people can stop asking me about it and looking at me with horror on their faces when I say I'm not having a traditional ceremony. What is "traditional," anyway, and whose tradition trumps whose?

Reasons not to walk down the aisle:

1. I know millions of non-religious brides walk down the aisle, and I'm well aware that the tradition has Pagan roots. However, it smacks of Christianity to me and I would feel like a sham bride if I did it. I'm not religious and neither is my family, so I wouldn't be doing it out of respect for religious parents. On the contrary, I feel like hijacking a solemn tradition that many brides do take seriously would be rather insulting.
2. The idea of being given away really grates on my nerves. No offense to all the little girls out there who want to be tearfully ushered down the aisle by their daddies, but it's not hard to see this tradition for the sexist bullshit that it is. Why doesn't the mom get to give the daughter away? She gave birth to her, for crissakes. And why doesn't anyone have to give the groom away? Didn't his parents have to work just as hard to raise him as the bride's parents did to raise her? Don't the groom's parents deserve a moment to shine too?
3. I have stage fright. The thought of marching down an aisle to choreographed music while a hundred plus people stare and point cameras at me scares the living daylights out of me.
4. It's sooo cheesy. The Bridal March, the Canon in D...haven't we seen it enough? I remember going to a Pentecostal wedding. That's three hours of my life I'm never getting back.

This is not to say we don't want my family and friends to bear witness to our union, or that I don't have some kind of ceremony planned. It just won't be like in the movies. There will be no aisle, no Bridal March, no blushing bride on the arm of a proud father, no flower girl with a basket of petals, and no ministers.

So what will there be? J and I are deciding on the details, but there will be speeches, there will be vows, there will be a gesture to honor our parents, there will be toasts, there will be laughter, and there might even be a few tears. We want to take the elements from Chinese and Western marriage ceremonies that we actually find meaningful, and then update and personlize these elements so they fit the two of us in our place and our time. A generic ceremony is hollow; we hope to create a ceremony that will surprise our guests but also show everyone that we care enough about each other, our family, and our friends to express that love in a truly unique way.

End rant. I'm sure there will be many more in the months to come.